Excuse me, but Bah Humbug. Yes, you heard me.. that is a "Bah" closely followed by a "humbug".
Are we all feeling fulla holly jolly christmas spirit and enjoying this holiday season? Or are we stressing out because our christmas shopping is still not done, we have two 10 hour round trip drives to make 2 days apart, we don't have a gift or a food item to bring to the company christmas party TOMORROW and we're wearing the cruel shoes today and therefore do not want to go shopping directly after working all day, and our relatives who haven't said a peep to us all year suddenly must have our presence at a wedding for 2 people we don't know?
You may be able to guess which category I am in.
I am currently trying to decide which things to thump the hell off my christmas agenda.
My big plan is to drive home for christmas this Saturday and stay till Wednesday, the day after christmas. This is what I am happy about doing. This is the part of the plan that I think I can swing without much difficulty.
Now let's take a look at what my mom wants me to do, shall we? She'd like for me to travel home this weekend and stay till Wednesday as planned... then after I get home on Wednesday night, I can go to work on Thursday and Friday, and beat a trail back home again Friday night (another 5 hours one way) then get up Saturday morning to travel, yes TRAVEL to either some place in Arkansas, Mississippi, or northernmost Louisiana, for the annual fireworks fiasco, which I normally love to do... then I get to make the trip back to sister's house, stay a couple more days, through new years day, requiring more days off that I don't have, and then I can drive home again (another 5 hours again).
The KICKER came this morning when my mom called to tell me that if I can get off work at noon on Friday, it'll be great because someone I don't really know is marrying someone I've never seen or heard of in flippin Arkansas, and I need to be there!! So that would add ANOTHER extra frickin trip to Arkansas in the next few days of travel hell.
Newsflash: I ain't going to the blessed event. They'll just have to promise to love honor and cherish without me.
So altogether, if I did what is expected of me, I would take off a half day this friday and drive to Bugfuck Arkansas (6.5 to 7 hours away) to watch a couple of strangers get hitched. (good grief that sounds ridonkulous already) Then I would drive back to sister's house, couple hours away and stay till wednesday, then drive 5 hours home, work Thursday and Friday, then drive 5 hours again back to sister's... sleep for 6 minutes, then drive again a couple hours to wherever we're having fireworks... then drive a couple hours back to sister's... stay till New year's... then drive home for 5 hours again.
My christmas spirit is spinning in the crapper.
I'm a problem solver, and a mother disappointer, so here comes another brilliant plan, which I shall make up on the fly right now:
OK, what's say I blow off the wedding? DONE.
Now my dilemma is whether to do my original Sat - Wed. plan and blow off fireworks (leaning towards that) orrrrr do I try to get thursday and friday off so I can just not return Wednesday and instead stay the whole damn week and come home New years day? Ack.. that requires me to take off 3 more days that I don't have. I guess I'll ask for the days off and if I get a yes I could stay all week and if I get a no, I'll come home Wednesday.
Now all I have to do is gather up the nerve to ask for more days off. I need to go see HR and figure out how many days I actually have left.
On the upside, I'm not depressed this christmas! I am pretty happy overall, even though I'm bitching full time here. Even though Christmas is a commercialized trap that forces you to spend your time and money following the herd like a mindless lemming, leaping into the abyss at top speed with all the other stupid lemmings.
But let's not forget... there are christmas cookies at the bottom of that abyss.