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2009-05-02 - 7:23 p.m.

So I have this puppy. His name is Dexter. (Yes, like the serial killer Dexter) I am in the midst of trying to wrangle into submission this hulking canine beast, this 2 pound wonder, this extreme bundle of high energy, bossy, chihuahua attitude.

He is really sweet first thing in the morning when he is tired and humble. This is the best time of day for the two of us to have a few moments together. I feel guilty about leaving him all day to begin with, but now we have an additional problem. He likes to play with his poo. I have read that this is a puppy behavior, so I am praying that he will outgrow it.

In the meantime, I have to clean up an atrocious mess every day when I get home from work. He smears the poo all over the floor in the bathroom where he is contained all day. My bathroom is 16 feet long. I get to pick up what I like to call "shit crumbs" from one end to the other and then spray enzyme cleaner all over the poo smears to make it come up easier, then scrub each smeared area clean, then mop the entire bathroom floor with antibacterial cleaner.

There is absolutely zero fun in this for me. Plus I yell at him every day and he cowers pitifully, totally failing to understand why poo smears upset mommy.

So I've crafted a plan. Next week, poor Dexter starts serving time in "the crate". A lot of people leave their dogs in a kennel or crate while they are at work. The idea is, dogs don't like to poo where they cannot get away from it. So I am going to leave his poo-smearing ass in the crate while I am at work. Then I will beat a trail home and set him free each afternoon and he will never get the chance to be alone with poo, hence, stopping the turd-worrying behavior.

This is tough love, people.

I have to end the daily shit detail. Monday will be his first day in the hole. I plan to get him up early and let him scamper around in a carefree fashion until I have to leave for work. Then he goes in the jail cell for the day. I hope he does his business before I have to leave for the day so he won't have the urge to splurge all day long.

I was stupid to get a dog. I should have gotten a cat. They are so much easier to handle. I love Dexter, but he presents a lot of problems. Kinda like Mr. Philly. I love him, but he presents a lot of problems. Thank the sweet Lord, Mr. Philly has no inappropriate fascinations with poo. ::counting my blessings::

Did I have to go there, you may ask yourself...

In other news:

I had the startling realization a while back that Buzzfest, the huge rock festival I have tickets for, is happening right on Mother's Day. This is not good, because last August, I blew off my mom's birthday to go to the Family Values Tour. I got free tickets in the covered reserve section and just could not miss it. So the very next momly event comes up and here I am with concert tickets again. I have to go to Buzzfest and today was the day I had to fess up and tell mom I can't be with her on her day. ::sigh:: Fortunately, we were a military family and she had to blow off many a Mother's Day for her own mom, so she was understanding.

I have arranged to have a couple of things delivered to her next week and one of the things I ordered was a beautiful flower arrangement from Teleflora. I have to tell you about this, because I discovered a great thing as I was checking out. I noticed a little field where you type in the promotion code if you'd like to use a coupon. So I googled "teleflora coupon code" and came up with one that instantly cut 25% off my total!!!! So, if you too have a mom, and you want to send flowers, use this code: 9CM25

That code is good till December 2009 and it's not just for Mother's Day. 25% off!! Just like that. When you order anything whatsoever online, you should always google for coupon codes. I have been doing that for a while and I've saved a wad of money that I was fully prepared to pay. Good stuff!

Another great deal I got recently... I had previously paid 100 bucks for a certain pair of jeans at the mall and they fit me so great that I wore them completely out. I was looking to get more, and I had the swell idea to check ebay. I wound up getting the exact same brand, same style, same size, same color, exact replacement, in excellent condition, for 44 bucks, including the shipping!!! I am so happy with that purchase.

I was supposed to go out shopping today for a couple of chairs and stuff for the porch. Mr. Philly is a smoker and he has to do that outside since smoke makes me die. I thought I might get a little grill too, cause we used to love to grill stuff. He arrives this coming Friday. I've done nothing I intended to do today (except sleep in) and now it is late. ::sigh:: Maybe tomorrow.

I am soooo excited about my impending vacation. I need this so bad I cannot even express it. I'm so sick of my job and my boss. I like him as a person, but damn he's a task-master. A micro-manager too. He's driving me crazy. One of these days I am going to leave that job because of his micro-managing, high-pressure management technique and he is going to be sad. His boss was recently at our facility and he went on a rant about how great a job I am doing and how our payment has gone way up because I don't miss any of the co-morbid conditions that crank up the payment. They are very pleased with me. Our hospital is making money hand over fist and we are outperforming every hospital in our 10 facility family. I'm not the whole reason why we are the best, but I am the reason we don't miss any revenue on the billing end. My boss is putting the company in serious jeopardy of losing this golden goose, because I am just dreaming of winning the lottery or changing my career path to get out from under my boss's constant pressure. If I can get hired as a remote coder and work from home, I will be out of there so fast, they won't know what hit. And that is a shame. If he treated me right, I'd be content to stay. He's getting close to squeezing the last drop of blood out of this turnip.

And that's the way it is in Teetsville today!

Have a good one, Gentle Reader. :-)

spring - fall

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