I sat down to write a long-overdue diary entry and just as I opened the typing screen, a green cloud of "too much Chef Michael dog food" wafted up from beneath my desk. Dexter, my diminutive canine sidekick is laying at my feet acting like he doesn't smell anything.
I think I'll go contemplate England for a bit until the cloud dissipates.
Later that same night...
Dexter, my chihuahua, was already a snack whore. THEN, he developed a major allergic reaction after catching some fleas from the sorry kennel I placed him in when I went on a trip. I'll explain later how this turn of events increased his snack whore tendencies.
I thought that this kennel could be trusted, however I was completely wrong. When I got my boy back, he had diarrhea for 3 days and his spoiled and sheltered hiney was being consumed by tiny jumping vermin. He'd never been exposed to many fleas before, since he's a house pup.
This has been quite an odyssey of ridiculous events ever since I picked him up from the evil kennel. After he recovered from his 3 day diarrhea ordeal, I went to the vet to procure some flea remedy. I expressed my concerns to the vet tech that this is a poison I would be spreading around on my tiny fur baby and I was afraid it may cause some kind of health problem for him. Things like vomiting and death for example. They assured me that nothing could possibly go wrong. Cheaper flea remedies are made of pestilence and ebola virus and can of course be deadly, but this pricey one won't cause anything but extreme customer satisfaction and a smiling, itch-free dog. So off I go.
I put the stuff on Dexter as instructed and waited for the smiles. Later that night as I was changing my bedding for the second time because Dexter had hurled repeatedly, neither of us were smiling, and I was not in a state of extreme customer satisfaction.
The next day I noticed that Dexter was making some weird motions. One of his back legs kept raising up, like it was weightless, and then extending out behind him and shaking rapidly. This looked just like tetany to me. I decided my boy was having neurologic symptoms as a side effect of the completely safe flea remedy. Plus, his ass was bald. Did I mention that? His hair had started falling out from his backside.
Thanks flea stuff! Now I can't take him to any play dates because he cannot do a *thing* with his hair and that tetany business is just humiliating. So back we go to the vet. Dexter had to have an allergy shot for the flea allergy and he was placed on Prednisone. This medicine will make him feel better and his hair will grow back.
Side effect of prednisone: Big time hunger. The vet said "He may gain a little weight, if you give in to his hunger."
You've never seen a 6 pound guy throw a bigger fit for a piece of cheese. It has gotten completely out of hand. He wants to eat constantly and as shocking as this may seem... he has actually resorted to eating his kibble. I feed him twice a day with the canned food he loves, plus he gets 3 treats for being a good boy AND some bites of whatever I eat, (at his most fervent insistence) and then he's got a backup supply of the hated dry kibble that he eats only in a severe emergency situation. Now that he's a hoover, he's been cleaning that bowl every day.
Homey wants to EAT.
I can feel the extra padding on him. If he keeps going, he's going to be shaped like a football. I may have to deprive him a wee bit.
Poor little Pootietang.