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2014-01-11 - 11:33 a.m.

I am going to tell a shameful little story about Karma today.

I have been the apparently deserving victim of some particularly fast Karma, here lately. It all started when I met my cousin's wife. This girl is... shall we say... "Master of the Selfie". She posts waaaay too many pictures of herself and she apparently is very careful not to show this one very prominent feature of hers in the pictures. I've never seen a hint of it. When we met in person recently, my eyes were helplessly drawn again and again, to this giant, hulking, fetal twin-like gollywobbler in her temple area, poking right through the hair. Mount Kilimanjaro lives slightly above her left temple. I am pretty sure I stared directly at it the whole time I was talking to her. I was just amazed that she has been in the family for as long as she has and even after the scads of close up pictures of her I've seen, never did I have any idea she was harboring the largest mole/wart/fetal twin that I've ever seen in my life.

Sorry to say, I joked about this on the ride home. I laughed about the gollywobbler. I recited the part in the Austin Powers movie where Austin Powers is not supposed to mention a mole on another guy's face because that guy was very sensitive about it. So when he sees the big mole on the other guy, he can't stop saying "Moley moley moley". Funny scene. Almost lived it.

My joking did not escape the ever watchful eye of Karma and within mere days... like 2 or 3... I had sprouted my very own disgusting temple wart. At first I thought it was a zit, but the second time I looked at it, I realized it was an actual growth. Right on my left temple. It happened so fast and was so coincidentally in the same spot as the joked about wart...I must assume it's not OK to make fun of other people's warts.

I considered going straight to the dermatologist, but I was still mad about the last time I went to the doctor when I had bronchitis in August and they charged me $350.00 just to see a doctor for 3 minutes and get an injection. (Due to Obamacare, my very pricey insurance has become almost completely useless. Thanks Obama!)

So a home remedy was in order. I recently saw an interesting article about removing warts and moles with a piece of banana peel taped to the mole for 8 hours while you sleep, night after night until it's gone. Supposedly it only takes a few nights to completely clear it up. Here's the science: Banana peel contains an acid that makes warts and moles die.

It should be noted that it sort of adds insult to injury to have to go around with a banana peel taped to your head. So go ahead and enjoy that visual. Laugh to yourself if you'd like to, but don't joke about it with anyone. Just saying...

I am happy to report that my intrusive little guest is just about gone. Apparently the remedy works.

spring - fall

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