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2014-09-24 - 2:55 p.m.

In Other News...

I'm being stalked and drunk dialed by a crazy alcoholic who thinks he loves me. I know this guy and I feel terrible about the way his life has gone off the rails, but I have told him very plainly and firmly that I am not available for any kind of a romantic relationship with him. I've started dodging his calls, especially late night or early morning calls, because I want to avoid the drunk calls.

Last night I answered the phone because he had told me when he was sober that he was going to call later "if that's ok" to let me know how his job interview went. I shouldn't have picked up, because he was drunk and ranting. He told me that I'd better prepare myself because he "doesn't want to hear anymore of that shit about how you're not looking for a relationship" because he has made up his mind and he is not EVER going to let me go. He then went on to say "You're going to have to get a shotgun and blow me away to get rid of me". Scary!

I thought at first that I could handle this unwanted attention and sort of talk him down, because I've known him for many years and when he is sober, he is sweet and rather timid. Last night, before he went all cray-cray on me he said he was in love with me and he asked me to marry him. He then ranted incoherently for a stretch and was so drunk that he probably didn't remember anything he said when he woke up today. He would be mortified if he heard a playback of himself when he's drunk.

I haven't given him any reason to believe I would be welcoming to his advances. When he is sober, he seems to understand and accept that I'm not interested, but when he is drunk, what he says is showing me that he is getting frustrated at my lack of cooperation. I hope I don't have to get a restraining order... or a shotgun.

He has left me many rambling drunken messages. I have missed calls at all hours. I have a lot of voicemail messages where no one talks, but I hear the horrible country music in the background and know exactly who it is.

When he is sober, he is very shy and sweet and he is apologetic about calling and "bothering" me. I haven't led him on but I guess I haven't been mean enough. I don't want to have to be mean, but it may come to that.

I think I need to do a little self reflection and figure out how to stop sending the signal into the universe that I want unavailable, broken, married, or otherwise inappropriate men to pursue me. I mean, seriously. WTF?

spring - fall

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Words to Live By - 2015-03-04

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In Love - 2014-12-29

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