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2003-10-14 - 9:32 p.m.

I AM SO TIRED OF HALLS CHERRY MENTHOLYPTUS COUGH DROPS.

In the past week or two, I have coughed up my spleen, one lung, and a penny I swallowed when I was 3 years old. I've eaten so many cough drops, it makes me queasy to think about it.

Brace yourself for an abrupt change of topic:

Regulars in Teetsville know that I have one sweet angel of a precious boy doglet, named Dag, (also known as the hog humping monkey lover) and one uncivilized idiot girl dog who is destructive and annoying. She's a crapper of rugs, a dribbler of urine, a scratcher of doors, and a climber of fences. I have tried many ways to keep her crazy ass in my yard so she won't end up roadkill, all to no avail. She climbs right over the fence, like a freakin monkey.

Well, today I brought home a dog cable and a collar for her and I hooked her up to the apple tree in the back yard. Then I moved the heavy dog house and the water bowl down to her new area, and tried to show Bonehead that the dog house is a nice place, and not a pit of vipers as she suspects.

Nothing doing.

She ran to the end of the cable, choking herself in mid-air numerous times, before finally resigning herself to the fact that she could not outrun it, no matter how fast of a running start she got.

After she wore herself out on trying to get loose, she just stood there, at the end of the cable, head down, in an odd position, still as can be, evidently waiting for death.

Eventually, I had to let her off the cable. She was too pathetic. So, I ask you, who is the dumbass here? Her, for not understanding the concept of the cable, or ME, for falling for her pitiful act?

AND NOW, IN OTHER NEWS...

Have you ever seen a female hamster in heat??? It's Hi-larious. If you put your hand, a pencil, a slipper, or anything behind a girl hamster that is in the mood for love, she will freeze in her tracks and brace herself for a vigorous episode of hamster lovin. The girl hamster will not move a muscle. It's so funny. She'll just stand there, in position, for as long as something is behind her, utterly motionless, with an expectant look on her face.

She won't even look behind herself to make sure it's a boy hamster. She just waits, and believes.

Hamsters are natural born optimists.

I don't know why I felt the need to share that, but there you have it. Everything you ever wanted to know but were too afraid to ask...about Hamster lovin.

spring - fall

7 This comments thingy doesn't work now because I let my paid membership lapse.

Words to Live By - 2015-03-04

Sunshiney - 2015-02-10

New and Improved - 2015-01-30

The Deep - 2014-12-30

In Love - 2014-12-29


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