One of those ridiculous situations that you never ever want to see happen in your lifetime has happened to me.
My mom has been unleashed to go through my things in my old bedroom.
This is not good for a number of reasons. The main reason being that there *may* be some kind of ...uh...paraphernalia in there.
Vocabulary word of the day, Paraphernalia:
1. (sometimes used with a singular verb) equipment, apparatus, or furnishing used in or necessary for a particular activity: a skier's paraphernalia.
2. (used with a plural verb) personal belongings.
Yes, that's right. I left some "personal belongings" in my old room. I also left a shit load of dust bunnies under the bed which will bring down almost as much hell as the cat-o-nine tails.
You may be asking yourself why would Wilberteets allow her mother into her private domain where there may be disturbing bits of harsh reality for said mother who lives in total denial.
Well, because I'm not there to stop it. That's why. I left my house to my sister and though I come home as frequently as I can, we haven't gotten it all cleared out yet. Those weekends go by fast. Mom is in the mega hurry, because she wants to make an adorable bedroom for my little niece. Noble plan and all that jazz. I'm in favor of mom making the baby a bedroom. I'm not in favor of mom pulling a flogger out of my dresser drawer and asking my dad what it's for.
I tried to cal my sister last night to tell her where the stuff was... hoping she could intercept the inevitable. Her phone has something wrong with it apparently and it does not ring, so there was no saving it. I finally got hold of her today and said "Don't let mom look in the bottom drawer of my tall dresser". Want to guess what she said back?? C'mon... you know...
Yeah. Ma already saw the flogger. I'm just glad I threw out my left over condoms stash - from the olden days when I had a guy - and that good old Kentucky Jelly that everyone loves so much. (Kentucky = KY)
So yeah... they are going through my stuff like I died, but I don't have the luxury of being dead so their findings can't haunt me for the rest of my natural existance.
Here's another tidbit. Sister says "Mom already found your big picture of Klugarsh where he's flipping the bird." Thank you Dan, for flipping my mom the bird. I'm sure she had it coming. haha. Hey, birdies happen.
I'm laughing, cause.. I might as well.
Oh, I have more to tell in a totally new topic:
A couple days ago, my sciatic nerve turned on me. That shit hurts. It is terrible sharp nerve pain that starts in your butt and travels down your leg. Painful! There is no way to escape this pain. It hurts to sit, stand, walk, and even lay down. But it hurts less laying down. I missed 2 days of work this week due to this horrible pain. I went to a massage therapist on Thursday and she told me all about this male therapist and she used words and phrases like this: huge hands, strong, big guy, 19 years of experience... so I made an appointment for Friday with him.
He is my new best friend. He rubbed my butt for an hour. And he didn't even buy me dinner first. He really helped my sciatica a lot. I can walk and stand today. I can still feel it a little and I'm being careful about how I move and what I do, but WOW, he did me a lot of good. Needless to say, I will be going back.
This is a long weekend too! I should have planned to go see the family, but I need to get this sciatica all cleared up before work next week. A long ass drive in the car would have hurt it more. I guess I'll have a long weekend of movie watching and stuff.
Catch you cats on the flip side.