I am fried, toasted, and otherwise burnt out on traveling to the Texas facility. I took off this week and I am ever so happy about it. I have to go christmas shopping today. I'm letting the whole day get by and I'm still not ready to go. Maybe I'll go tomorrow instead. I'm so hopeless.
Here's something unimportant and completely unrelated to the above paragraph: I am loving that song by Blue October called "Into the Ocean". I love love love that song, but it's freakin depressing. It feels sad, like their last radio released song, "Hate Me". I put "Into the Ocean" into my playlist just ahead of several good angry songs. They cheer me right up.
I am headed for a crisis. I can feel it coming on. I'm feeling restless and like everything is shit. Maybe that is just a mood for today. Let's hope so. Or maybe the holidays depress me. Ding ding ding... I think we have a winner.
I am tired of not having a significant other, but I am also terrified of getting stuck in something I don't want. I have this deep burning fear that I cannot get along with anyone for very long. Maybe a series of short term flings is in order. HA.
Needless to say, I am not happy with my love life, cause it's pretty much non-existant. I'm sick of going to my job. Sick of it. It's too far away from home. I'm gone so much that I am overwhelmed with things that need to be done that I am just not anywhere near home to get done.
When you are unhappy with your love life, your work life, your home life, and your personal life, wtf is left?
I'll tell you what is left... your Second life. That's why the game is so damn addictive. You can just go in and forget the shit that bothers you in your real life.
Normally, I'm very happy and optimistic, but today I'm just not. In fact, most of the time I enjoy traveling and love my job. I love it because I don't have to go to the same place every day and deal with the company assclown that is invariably on staff at every location. This is a major plus. Last week I didn't get home until Saturday evening and that just ripped it for me. I thought this week that there was no possible way I could face that drive again so soon. I called up the boss out there and informed him I was not coming this week at all. I will be in after christmas.
Work is too important in my life. I need to do something different to shift the balance in my life. I need something else but I don't really know what to do to change that.
Oh, and Merry Fucking Christmas.
Don't worry.. I'll be happier next time probably. I'm on the verge of doing something really bad. That always cheers me up.