I shopped till I dropped. I'm tired and I didn't find anything great while I was shopping. The stores only carry 2 sizes: "Too Big" and "Too Small". They never have anything in my size: "Just Right".
My sister myramains also went shopping and she was out in the trenches a lot longer than I was. She bought a shit load of stuff. Lucky her. I bought 2 pairs of pants and one doesn't even fit right. They are a little too big. I'm hoping I can take them up or pin them tighter in the waist. The fabric is just perfect and I liked them everywhere but the waist.
Myra and I were both shocked and angered by the sight of our own asses in the diabolical three way mirrors at the clothing stores. I called her on her cell phone and said "Why didn't you tell me my booty is a bubble???"
We were angry at our own asses, so we immediately went out to eat. We went to a BBQ place for something really fattening. That's what you do when you're mad at your ass. You add to it. She ordered something called "Pig and a paddle" and she had this flat, resigned glare going on as she said the words. Naturally, the irony of it all got really funny to me and I started to laugh. She gave me the death stare and said "Shut up! Not a word." Then we laughed and laughed. Till it hurt. 'Cause ya might as well.
I've gained about 6 pounds in the past couple of weeks. This is not good. We have decided to purchase a big bad treadmill when we get back, even fatter, from our vacation. Fuck a health club, says we. The bummer about a health club is that you actually have to get in the car and go to it. It's a hassle and it takes up your valuable time. We are busy women. We need a treadmill so we can exercise right here. This is going to happen. I will use the treadmill. We have no where to put it, so we are going to haul that sucker right out in the middle of the living room and let it dominate the room for a few months. I'm going to park it right in front of the TV so I can be distracted while I exercise. I think I'm going to aim a big box fan at it. Might as well be comfy while I suffer. I'm looking forward to it.
I'm so tired. I am going out to shop again tomorrow. I put my head through every neckhole in the store and bought pants only. Tore up my hair do for nothing.
I have an addendum for this entry:
Today is the birthday of the poor guy I stood up at the altar once upon a time. It's very bad to leave someone at the altar. I was young and stupid at the time and I felt pressured and suddenly realized it was all wrong. So I didn't get on the plane I was supposed to get on to get me there for the wedding. I wasn't even on the same continent with homey when it was time to walk down the isle of doom.
I really dodged a bullet on that one. But guess what? I took the very next bullet that flew by and that one was a doozy.
You know... looking back... I remember being panic-stricken at the wedding I did show up for. I didn't bail because I didn't want to be the runaway bride for a second time. I thought that would cause me to lose all credibility. HARDY HAR.
::sigh:: End of addendum.