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2003-07-09 - 9:51 p.m.

Remember the kid's books about Clifford, the Big Red Dog? Well, this is "Humping Clifford". A different pooch altogether.

Awhile back, one of the fast food chains were giving out posable Clifford toys as the prize in their kiddie meal deal. There were about 4 different Cliffords to be had. I bought one, ripped it out of it's value enhancing plastic pouch, and quickly noticed that Clifford was in an unmistakeable hunching position.

I'm thinking that this is a feature that could be capitalized on. There should have been some kind of a Humping Clifford commercial to enhance sales. "Humping Clifford, now with double jointed humping action! Just place him on any object, and WATCH HIM GO! Leg sold seperately."

What's going on people?? Why is everyone trying to corrupt the kids?

A few years ago a toy company came out with a male doll (that I can't remember right now) and they had to take all the dolls off the shelves, because his cool arm action looked like he was beating off feverishly. It was tres unfortunate. I wish I could remember what doll it was. It was made to be sold after some huge kid movie, but it has just left my memory entirely. Sister would know, but she ain't talkin'.

Ok folks: late breaking news flash.... my sister read my journal and posted to my notes about what doll that was. I'm just going to post it here, cause it is funny.

"This is your sister, Teets. The "floggin' doll" was Tarzan...and not only did he appear to beat off feverishly, but he also yelled the entire time. That's high comedy, man."

High comedy indeed.

spring - fall

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