Most shocking & horrible event of the day:
My sister, myramains, and her two kids went with me for dinner to Peking, the local chinese buffet where we frequently dine with happy results. I had not been feeling too great today and was not very hungry, so I declined the crab-legs, which our funny chinese waitress pronounces "Cran-nags". No cran-nags for me tonight. Myra however, happily welcomed the cran-nags.
During dinner, nothing tasted right to me. The chicken was too chickeny, the green beans were too green-beany... I was finicky. When the family bursted forth with a festive rendition of "Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo", I found out that I was not able to stomach the very descriptive lyrics about the christmas poo and it's many possible consistancies during dinner. Everything gross was just a little bit grosser in my queasy world this evening.
But then... the unthinkable happened. I saw a very unhappy look cross my sister's face. A look that unmistakably said "Something is rotten in Denmark". She was sniffing at the claw from one of her crab legs. She held it out towards me and said "This smells like straight up amonia". So I grabbed it and took a big whiff to see if I could detect the faint scent of amonia. It smelled ROTTEN. I didn't so much smell amonia, cause it was masked by the stench of rotting sea creature. Creeping death even. Nasty Hell on a stick. It was definitely rancid.
Listen neighbor, I went buck wild. I didn't even know what I was doing there for a minute. I started yelling "It's BAD!!! That's BAD!! It's ROTTEN!! It's BAAAAAAAAAAD!! ACK!!! AAARRRRGGGHH!! I carried on like a crazy person. I was in shock. I was traumatized, I tell you. I made such a ruckus with my AUUGGHHH and my AACCKK and my screaming the word BAAAAD!! That several waitresses converged on our table at once. They smelled the nasty rotten crab claw and one of the waitresses started saying "It's Rotten! It smells like rotten fish heads!!" At this point, I was in sensory overload and had to put my head down and protect my ears from anymore gross comments.
Egads. How awful.
The waitresses took that crab claw into the kitchen and they passed it around smelling it like it was a prize-winning rose or something. Sister is hoping she doesn't have to hurl the night away. That was a bad experience and I am still... and possibly forever-more traumatized as a result, but we laughed on the way home because we realized we "had the Barf-fay at puke-king".
Fear the Cran-nags.