Here's what a harmless crazy person does for dinner:
Harmless crazy person notices it's 8 pm and no food has been taken in today. Crikey, thinks HCP to herself. She gets ready to go, invites harmless crazy dog to go along, and heads out for the thing that sounds best... Popeye's Chicken! Harmless crazy dog thinks it's the best idea anyone has ever had before.
So HC Person and HC Dog head out, happily anticipating the greasy, fried, salty, ankle-swelling, clean-diet-busting, Popeye's chicken. At some point guilt takes over and the realization is made that along with the greasy chicken would be greasy side orders, and altogether, my ankles will appear to be possessed by Satan if I continue with this plan of self destruction.
New plan is formulated! Chik-Fil-A! Less breading, no side orders, no salty crunchy batter. Harmless Crazy Person obtains the nuggets and Harmless Crazy Dog obtains a chicken flavored milk bone from dog loving Chik-Fil-A window worker.
HC Dog tries to strike a trade deal: one slightly wet chicken flavored milk bone in exchange for 12 chicken nuggets. No dice, says HC Person. I might be crazy, but Stoopid, I ain't.
The two harmless crazies happily make their way towards home when suddenly there is an unfortunate slippage of will power and a single chicken wing with a biscuit is accidentally purchased from Popeye's evil drive up window. (the dog over-powered me) The two crazies share the biscuit on the way home and the chicken wing is eaten in the driveway.
Harmless Crazy Person decides to make some vegetables to go with the chicken, not realizing the chicken will never make it that long without being scarfed. HC Person then proceeds to roast an entire bundle of asparagus.
While the asparagus is roasting, the chicken is eaten "one for me, one for you" style, but Harmless Crazy Dog got ripped off in the deal and didn't even know it. Harmless Crazy Dog got all the small ones and all the funny looking ones. She felt lucky all the same.
I guess this was a progressive dinner. We progressed all over town and ate each course in a different place. The only food that made it onto a plate was the asparagus.
I love roasted asparagus. The taste of it makes me want to scarf it down compulsively. It must have a nutrient that I neeeeeeeeed severely.
Here's what HarmFUL Crazy Person does for dinner: Wonders how the girl in the well downstairs would taste with a nice Chianti and some fava beans.
So I guess me and Abby are doing ok.