YOU SHOULDN'T OUGHTA HEAR THIS, LITTLE BUDDY.
Perhaps my jaunty little pooch, Dagget, the Daggatollah, Dagmar the Mighty, Dagga Lagga Ding Dong, has put on a pound or two over the holidays.
Maybe he indulged a bit too heavily in the holiday ham.
Mayhaps his collar became another notch tighter and had to be let out to the last possible stop before NEW COLLAR TIME.
OK - I'll grant you that.
But my sister went completely over the edge of decency when she called my round yet still saucy pooch a name so heinous, so wrong, that I find myself thankful that Daggala was crunching his kibbles too loudly to hear the slander.
Yes folks... she called him....
Really. Was that necessary?
Once again.... you know him, you love him, you can't live without him...