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2003-10-25 - 10:27 a.m.

I GOT MY CAR DETAILED

There is a guy who comes to my workplace offering to detail cars for 20 bucks. He's been after me to let him detail my car for a long time, but I always just go through one of those touchless car washes when I get my car filled up. I thought that was as good as it gets.

BOY WAS I WRONG.

I let this guy detail my car yesterday and it is like a new car!!! It looks brighter in every way. My rims are shinier than they were when this car was brand new. He made the tires shiny and blacker, he did the windows. He put armor all on the dash and doors. He cleaned every nook and cranny. He vacuumed it within an inch of its very life. He put something in it that smells like a new car. It's just spotless and glimmering.

I was so happy driving home in my new car. I just had my expired inspection sticker renewed too, so I didn't feel the urge to disappear when I saw cop cars. It was just swell. I was enjoying the new smell, when I started to notice a funky stank which can only be called "paper mill". The paper mill puts off a really rank smell, and some days it floats off into the heavens and other times it sort of hovers overhead, stinking up the cars and neighborhoods. If you drive through a papermill stink cloud, your car will smell like paper mill tomorrow.

In an attempt to save my new car smell, I drove out of the stink area and put all 4 windows down once the air was clear. Then I saw a mosquito abatement truck. They drive around and spray stinky bug poison out a cannon sized nozzle.

QUICK! QUICK!! SHUT THE WINDOWS!! TURN OFF THE AIR VENT!!!

Wow. The universe must not want me to have a good smelling car.

**Sniff sniff** What's that? ACK!!! A SKUNK!!! There was, I kid you not, a tremendous cloud of skunk stink hanging in the air on this road I use going home. I was almost home, but far enough away to not smell the skunk at my house. If you've ever driven through skunk spray, you may have noticed that you can smell it the next time you get in your car, and sometimes for a couple of days if you drove through it when it was fresh enough. So I was trying to shake off my third encounter with a funky skank when I got to the top of my subdivision and guess what I met as I turned on to the first street?

ANOTHER DAMN SKEETER TRUCK!!!!

QUICK! QUICK!! SHUT THE WINDOWS!! TURN OFF THE AIR VENT!!!

I drove the rest of the way with my vehicle closed up tight, not wanting to smell the bug spray. Four separate stink encounters in a 20 minute ride. I live in a stinky, stinky place. I'll bet my car smells like papermill, skunk and bug spray right this minute.

BUT IT'S STILL SHINY!!

Although a bird has probably pooped on it.

spring - fall

3 This comments thingy doesn't work now because I let my paid membership lapse.

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