Last night I had a dream, which at first glance would seem very off the wall and unusual, but I have figured out its meaning:
I dreamed that my right leg was gone. It had been amputated below the knee. I was not upset about this. I had the knowledge and memory of having been upset when it happened, but I had adjusted. The dream consisted of only one scene. In this scene, I was in the process of putting on my prosthetic leg. The stump was wrapped in gauze and the leg itself was tapered to fit into the prosthesis.
I considered it very routine and ordinary to be inserting the gauze wrapped stump into the prosthesis. I was aware that most people thought this was a horrible, unthinkable thing, but it was just old hat to me.
I interpret this dream to be my subconscious mind telling me that I am adaptable and able to cope with things that would seem overwhelming.
In other words, it's my built in mechanism for cajoling my own ass into realizing that things are going to be ok.
I've been worrying non-stop about my sister and it's pure hell, waiting to see if it's going to be good news or bad news. Everything is on hold right now. I'm not going out of town again until I know something.
But I'm adaptable, folks!
I think my own subconscious mind is getting tired of my sad sack routine. If I don't watch out, I might kick my own ass.
I say this today, while I am feeling a little bit stronger. Next time I fling off into another fit of panic and post another depressed entry, I'll try to come back and read this one again.
A big thank you goes out to all you assorted sweeties who have been leaving me the kind notes and comments. I really appreciate you.
I hope we can close the book on this raggedy old health scare chapter of our lives soon. I am going to be one happy mofo if she turns out to be ok. I may have to run away and celebrate.