2003-08-23 - 6:58 p.m.
Hello Evin... and a Happy Birthday to you... Muwahahahaaaaaarrrgghh
WELCOME TO THE EEEEVIL STORY OF EVIN'S BIRTH...
8 YEARS AGO TODAY... in a scaaarryy hospital there was a young woman with a very round stomach. She had a BABY IN THERE!! INSIDE HER BODY!! A LIVE HUMAN BABY!!!
WELL, IT SIMPLY HAD TO COME OUT.
The doctor was called in... he knew he had a hard job to do, so he had to bring several knives, a plunger, a weed eater, and a live chicken, but by the end of several long and painful hours, and after being kicked in the forehead a few times by the scared young mother.... he finally yanked the baby free!
As soon as the baby came out, the doctor held him up and the baby began to sing! He was singing "You ain't nothing but a hound dog" Everyone was amazed, because this baby had tiny sideburns and a guitar!
Just then, the doctor slapped the baby's bottom, and baby Evin /Elvis stopped singing and stared at the doctor like it was butt-kicking time! He lunged towards the doctor and slapped the peanuts out of him.
DID YOU SEE THAT? THE BABY SLAPPED THE DOCTOR!
When the doctor woke up on the floor, Evin the butt-kicking baby said "Don't make me have to do that again!.. Now sew up my mama booty before I jack slap you again"
AND SO IT WAS...
E LOVES HIM SOME TELETUBBIES
Every year when THE BIRTHDAY rolls around, all the monsters get nervous, because Evin the butt-kicking baby gets bigger and meaner every year. So they show him the respect. Even Ash has to give Evin props:
IT'S EVIN'S BIRTHDAY? AM I INVITED?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVORITE BOY!
spring - fall
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