The shop where I recently took my car to have the transmission fixed is run by a nut. I've had to talk to this guy so many times that we are sort of friends now. We have a dreadful relationship. We talk to each other like we are filled with contempt and hatred for each other. It's quite amusing. I am waiting for him to produce a letter for me that states the transmission failed due to the impact, so I can sue the insurance company that denied my claim. There have been quite a few delays to this, but the thing is in the works and I was supposed to go pick it up on Friday. I got busy and didn't show up and then I forgot about it until today.
Here's an actual conversation that went on today on the phone when I left work:
Jim: Hello. BlahBlah Transmission Service, may I help you?
Me: Hi, it's Wilberteets.
Jim, with contemptuous tone of voice: Wilberteets WHO?
Me: HOW MANY WILBERTEETS DO YOU KNOW? (my real name is VERY unique and there is no one else with my name. Can't tell you what it is, because of googling co-workers and the like)
Jim immitating me with a high pitched girlie voice: Ooooooh, I'm coming over to get my letter Friiiiday... Monday at the verrrrry latest... oooooh
Me: OK,OK, I'm really coming over...
Jim: YEAH RIGHT. I'm busting my ASS here!
Me: RELAX! ... sheesh.
Jim: You NEED to get your ASS over here and get your DAMN letter.
Me in sarcastic tone of voice: What's your hurry?
Jim: I want you to come get this thing and then get OUT of my hair. I'm SICK of messing with you!
Me: So, is my letter ready?
Jim, quietly: Uh... well.... not really.
Me, vindicated, haughty, victorious: OH, GIMME A BREAK!!! ALL THAT BITCHING AND WHINING... AND IT'S NOT EVEN READY??? WHAT... DID YOU TRY TO TYPE IT YOURSELF??
Jim, subdued: Well, it was printed and waiting for you, but the spell checker didn't get run and it was .. uh... unacceptable so I'm redoing it myself and I'm working on it right now.
Me: WHAT.... EVER!
Jim: So, come by tomorrow or like 3 days from now... whatever...
Me: OH, UH-UH. I'm coming to get it right now. Get typing.
Jim: No, really, it will be done TO-MORROW.
Me: OK. Tomorrow then.
Jim: Call me tomorrow and if it's done you can come get it and if not, then Thursday.
Me: No, Wednesday is better for me, so have it done by first morning light.
Jim: Thursday then?
Jim: No can do, Babe.
Me: I'm calling tomorrow, it better be done, cause I'm coming to get it.
Jim: See you Thursday. But call me tomorrow.
Me: OK. But have it done tomorrow.
Jim: ::laughing:: It's been crazy here lately.
Me: It's been crazy at my workplace too.
Jim: I bet I have you beat.
Me: Bet you don't. But I'm part of the solution instead of part of the problem. (insinuating that he's the problem at his workplace)
Jim: You are part of the solution here?
Me: No, I'm part of the problem there. I'm part of the solution at my workplace.
Jim: You're MOST of the problem here.
Hahaha. He never fails to make me feel like a pain in the ass and a burden to deal with. So cantankerous.