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2003-10-12 - 1:18 p.m.


Yesterday, the Binkster and myself went out for a little "girl time". This is something we do most every weekend. We go out to lunch and then follow it up with a movie or some shopping.

This particular lunch was had at a new Italian restaurant that we have already been to numerous times. We like it. There is a waiter there who is just freakishly tall. He is also Asian.

Usually "tall" and "asian" are not adjectives used while describing the same individual. The only other incidence in which I've seen a super-dee-duper tall asian guy has been on that commercial where the tall basketball playing asian guy keeps saying his name, which is Yao. (pronounced YOW)

You may not know this about me, but I have a tendency to do things which are sometimes accidental, but sometimes just for shock value or humor. Such as meowing at a chinese restaurant. I meowed one time and caused a lot of giggling at my table, because we had a squeamish eater there who was just convinced that the meat in the various stir fried entrees was cat meat. It was hilarious to meow just before or after she put a bite into her very hesitant mouth.

Usually, I don't meow at the restaurant, I just comment that it is rude to meow at chinese restaurants. This is usually enough to get a laugh out of my companions.

At the italian restaurant we were at yesterday, the Yao look-alike was our waiter. He puts me in mind of that commercial every time we go there. So, long story short, at some point I fairly screamed the word YOW. This is something that just happens with me. I didn't mean to scream YOW, it just occurred spontaneously. I almost spilled the olive oil or something and instead of a normal OOPS coming out of me, I yell YOW.

I somehow managed to say YOW 46 times during an hour lunch. It was basically every other word. It was like Austin Powers' reaction to seeing the guy with the big mole on his face in "Goldmember". (Whatever you do... don't mention the mole. So Austin goes "moley moley moley moley".)

Naturally, our waiter was within earshot when I screamed YOW. He was close by, but we don't know if he heard it or not. I'm thinking he has probably heard of the comparison between himself and Yao the basketball player, because how many times in life have you ever seen a really tall asian guy?

It's not like it was insulting. Yao is a nice looking guy and so is this waiter. There's nothing wrong with looking like Yao. But you just don't want to yell something that is obviously about someone within earshot of them, and if you don't intend it to be about them, but it is easily concluded that it is, because it coincidentally sounds like you meant it, it is 10 times more embarassing.


Anyway, Bink was laughing up her spleen and when she could talk again, she said "That's as bad as the time Mamaw kept yelling "Whose Beaver is that?"

My entry on 10/9/03 had stuff in it about my mom saying things that are wrong or funny in some way, and I totally left out the beaver story... so here goes.

We went to an annual get-together. If you read my entry about "How Rednecks Have Fun", it tells about this annual event. It's a new years party with a huge extended family and all the friends and significant others who wish to attend. So, there we were, in the crowded house full of people, and there was a "Caddy Shack" Gopher toy on the table singing and dancing as gopher toys are wont to do. It was singing some song in a funny gophery voice, and my mom was delighted and thrilled by it. She was mesmerized like an ostrich with it's eye on a shiny button.

Just then, in full Mom glory, she yells across the room "WHOSE BEAVER IS THAT? Upon hearing this sentence come out of my mother's mouth, I froze. Then we all heard it a second time, "WHOSE BEAVER IS THAT?" I shot a look to Bink, and she just closed her eyes and said "No, she didn't". But YES, she did! And she continued to yell about the "beaver". She started attaching people's names to it. "TEETS, IS THAT YOUR BEAVER?" etc. After she had screamed the word Beaver about 6 times, and started to notice wild hysterical laughter going on in the room, she started asking "What's so funny?" Which of course, just made it more funny. So I just yelled back "NICE BEAVER, MOM". And rode the laugh wave on out.

Mom doesn't even know it wasn't a beaver.

A long time ago I watched one of those silly Leslie Neilson movies where a woman in a library was climbing up a ladder and she handed him a stuffed beaver. He looks up.... under her dress evidently, and says "Nice Beaver". So this is what I was thinking of when mom was screaming about the beaver.

No mom, beavers have a big flat tail. Gophers don't. Did you see a big flat tail on the singing /dancing stuffed animal in question? I didn't think so.


That mom, she's a laugh riot.

spring - fall

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