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2004-04-11 - 12:26 a.m.

I have a friend of the very closest variety, and he lives in Philadelphia. More specifically, he lives is a bad neighborhood. Nay, a ghetto. The worst damn neighborhood in the country, actually. I saw a documentary about it. True.

Anyhoo... many things are different in his world. For one thing, you can be 2600 dollars behind on your water bill there and still be bathing. Um, here, if you owe the water company more than fifty bucks, yo' ass is going to a friend's house for a shower tomorrow. They cut that shit off before you have a chance to say "but wait!"

My friend ALWAYS knows how to buy something cheaper, or obtain a service cheaper, or get a full refund. He once got me a free set of french doors, because one of those big home improvement stores sent out the wrong kind and my contractor installed them. I had specified that I wanted doors that had the door knob on the left and they sent a right sided set. Mr. Man just happened to know the way their business set up works and knew they would not use these doors again, but instead would trash them. He got them to give it to me free. It was an awesome thing to watch.

In the ghetto (think of Cartman gently singing in the background) they have a way around everything. Can't afford cable? No problem. Find a crack head and buy a cable descrambler for 20 bucks. Problem solved.

Need a ride and don't want to pay 35 bucks for cab fare? Call "Ghetto Taxi". Yes folks, that's what they call it. Ghetto Taxi will come get your sorry ass and for the low, low price of 10 or 15 bucks, they'll take you as far as that 35 bucks cab fare would have gone. These "taxis" are not marked. The whole operation is covert and illegal. They are not licensed as taxis, because that costs too much money. They just show up in a nice car and take you where you're going. You have to know somebody to get their number, because for obvious reasons, they don't advertise. You won't find them in the yellow pages.

Ain't life interesting?

spring - fall

4 This comments thingy doesn't work now because I let my paid membership lapse.

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