Things are going pretty well today. Mom and Myra are getting along and everyone is happy. Tomorrow is Father's day and the Dadness is with us. The parental units are going to go home with both kids and Myra and me are going to Eureka Springs tomorrow. I am so glad to be going back there. I wish we were staying there 3 nights instead of 2.
Some funny stuff happened today. Myra has a talent for saying things the wrongest way imaginable. Earlier, we stopped by a McDonalds to use their restroom and we ended up buying ice cream cones while we were there. The rather grungy and unwashed counter girl ran both hands through her greasy hair, scratched her crotch, and then made our ice cream cones too big and Elvis Jr couldn't eat all his. I didn't know all that... I just heard the part where Myra said to him "Go shake a hunk off in the toilet."
Har har, and a ha ha ha, I might add.
I was thinking maybe he should wait till we get back to the room if he had to do something like that.
Go shake a hunk off in the toilet.
Sadly, I wouldn't even have known that was a goof, because I regularly hear her say things like pinch a loaf, drop some pebbles, lay some rope, etc.
When we went to dinner, the baby started saying she had to go poo in the potty. This is ground breaking stuff, because she has resisted this process consistently. We're afraid she'll have to start kindergarten in diapers. So Myra took her to the potty and usually it's just a false alarm, but this time she was gone a long time and when they came out of the bathroom, the baby came running towards our table yelling "Mamaw! Papaw! I poo poo in the big potty! Mimi!! I did it!"
We are obligated to celebrate big when she does anything in the pot. We sort of hushed that up, without ruining the celebration vibe. Then when we left, as we were walking past the windows in front of all the other dining patrons, the baby started saying "My booty itches" and digging back there. Then, to the horror of Myra, and the dining couple who were watching the baby, a big wad of toilet paper rolled out her pants leg. So nice.
She is still up, way past when she was put to bed. She just got up and announced "my crack hurts". I told her to put her crack back in the bed where it belongs. Myra checked the crack out and it's ok now. It's always something.
Elvis Jr. has been positively afflicted all day today. He has annoyed the crap out of everyone at every opportunity for this whole day. After he tipped the entire table at dinner, Myra loudly scolded him and told him to quit acting like a tard. Something about hearing the word Tard just turned over my giggle box. I was bouncing in my chair. Trying to be quiet. We TRY not to laugh when the kids are being disciplined, but it's so hard to not laugh sometimes.
Ahhh yes, good times with the chillins.
The baby has learned some new words lately. For example, she called her mother and me bitches at the dinner table a week or two ago. Yesterday she was yelling "Jackass!" She also threatened to "slap me nekkid" today.
It would be a perfect ending to this entry if I said I was going to go shake off a hunk in the toilet, but I'm FAR too ladylike for something as crass as that.
So here's a better ending: Myra is going to go shake a hunk off in the toilet.