I had a spectacular day today.
I was in a very happy mood all the live long day to the point of near silliness. I feel good physically today, I had a pretty good hair day, and I netted the company a huge, obnoxious windfall of money from an insurance company on just one inpatient stay because I am brash and nervy and can negotiate like a banshee. I am not sure how banshees negotiate, but I think I replicated it with pinache.
Success, I tell you.
My company does not deserve my talents AND YET, I give of them.
In other news: I received one marriage proposal and at least two indecent proposals today. All from the same (married) guy. Dude was very, VERY happy about the financial magic I pulled off today. Very happy.
He flirts his ass off every time he sees me. He's harmless though. I like the guy.
There is this woman that is sort of widely unliked at my workplace and here is one of the reasons people don't like her: Her office doesn't have a bathroom, like most of the other offices do and she doesn't like to use the restroom that is conveniently located RIGHT NEXT DOOR to her office, so she runs down the hall, door to door, asking to use the bathroom in one of the administrative office restrooms. (mine and a few others) Nobody wants her ass on their toilet. Nobody wants to be sitting in their office while she is a few feet away, doing her shameless daily business. Why does she not mind having an audience to this private matter of hers???
Bottom line: Nobody likes the office crapper.
So, we have all taken to closing and locking our office doors to keep her sphincter out of our work spaces. I became impatient with the routine today and led an uprising. I made a speech... because I have a dream. A dream that someday.... the office crapper will go in the restroom that God intended for her to use - the one right next door to her own office. Maybe she doesn't want to work in a cloud of her own ass fumes.
I told a few of my downtrodden co-workers that it is not right that we should be holed up and locked in while the office crapper roams free. We are being held hostage to her bowels. It's just not right. So I made a sign. It's universal, any person can understand the meaning.