I'm up. It's 3:03 am. WTF?
I made an entry over at living-lulu's place, and I just bitched and moaned through the whole thing, because that's just how bad my day sucked ass.
I figured out what I need to make me happy. I mean, truly happy. It's relatively simple. I need 10 million dollars. I will accept donations. I should put up a Paypal link and beg, because when you see what my plan is, you'll want me to have it.
There is a castle for sale between Colorado Springs and Denver. This is where I need to live. Colorado is my favorite state, between Colorado Springs (where I grew up) and Denver, an hour away, there is Woodland Park, and this, friends and neighbors, is where I want to live. The castle and all its beautificant furnishings can be mine for a mere 5 million. It is exactly what I would want in a castle. It has been built to last for generations to come.
I need 10 million so I can invest 5 million and accumulate a large amount of income off the interest. If you invested 1 million dollars in Mutual Funds and they made an average of 10 or 12%, you'd be earning over 100K a year in interest. So, 5 million would get me around a half a million a year and that is enough to keep my castle going and support my lifestyle and the lifestyles of my full staff of people that I need to take care of me.
I need a butler, 2 maids, a cook, a grounds keeper, and a personal trainer. That's all I need. Oh, and an accountant. But the personal trainer and accountant wouldn't be full time employees.
See? Don't you wish I had that 10 million dollars? I know I do. The horrible part is, one of my business associates is worth 400 million dollars. He could give me the 10 million and not even miss it. I haven't asked him. I plan to ask him for it, but I suspect the answer will be no.
Who wants to donate? Hey, at least do me this favor: If you play the lottery, and you win the power ball and get some huge 230 million dollar prize, break off a little 10 million dollar crumb for the Teets. Will ya?
It's for a good cause.
And you can have your own wing in the castle.
High maintenance? Who said that?
I'm only joking a tiny bit. The rest is all serious. I'm not even smiling.