THINGS THAT MAKE YOU WANT TO BOIL YOUR MIND'S EYE:
1.) THE HEINOUS SIGHT I ENCOUNTERED IN THE TOILET BOWL AT WORK YESTERDAY.
2.) THE SIGHT OR SOUND OF YOUR PARENTS HAVING SEX.
3.) THE GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF YOUR YETI-ASS CO-WORKER'S SEX LIFE.
4.) A PARTICULARLY BOLD PASS MADE BY A TROLL YOU WOULDN'T SHAG IF HE WAS THE LAST MALE ANYTHING ON THE PLANET EARTH.
5.) THAT RED, SHINY THING WE USED TO SEE ON DAGGET'S BELLY EVERY TIME HE GOT ANYWHERE NEAR THE FEMALE PUPPY... UNTIL WE GOT HIM FIXED.
Speaking of that... Dagget is my chihuahua. He looks more like a mini-pin. He's black with the little brown eye-brow dots. He's quite saucy and adorable.
He used to be a hog humping monkey lover, but we got him neutered and now he has sort of lost the zest for humping. He still does it once in awhile, to show the cat who's boss, but sometimes he jumps on the cat / hedge hog toy / a slipper / stuffed monkey, and acts like he's about to hump it within an inch of it's very life... but then he just sort of stops and wanders off with a vaguely confused expression. It's as if he is thinking "What was that thing I used to do?" Poor Daga-laga Ding Dong.
AND SPEAKING OF DONG...
Have you ever noticed someone using a word in some way that makes you realize that they have no clue how the saying or word really goes???
A certain co-worker of mine says DONG instead of DAWN. I noticed it one day when she was telling me some drawn out tale and she said "I did not know that, but when it finally DONGED ON ME, I just couldn't believe it!" Then she proceded to use it about 4 more times. She thought I was really enjoying her story, but actually, I was laughing my ass off because she kept saying DONG. Yes, it was a Beavis and Butthead moment. She never realized, and I don't know why I didn't tell her.
My mom says a few funny things that she doesn't realize she's saying wrong. For example: She doesn't get conjunctivitis... she gets conjunctionitis. I guess her ifs, ands, and buts get infected from time to time.
She puts an S in every syllable of the word statistics. She says sta-sti-stiks.
When things go all wrong, instead of saying things went awry (pronounced uh-rye, with the emphasis on the second syllable) she says arry (rhymes with starry). I laughed my ass off when I realized that one, and I was about 12. Since mom is a smart person, I sometimes think she does that to be funny. But I'm not sure...
That mom is a card.
We used to tease her and say that trying to explain something to mom was like staring into the eye of the chicken, cause y'know, chickens are stupid an' shit. She plays along and makes the "eye of the chicken face", which is sort of a blank, startled side glance thing she does... and it's always funny.
I love Ma.
And Dad. Dear ole Dad... he cooks the german food. It's October and that means it's time for Oktoberfeast, which is an annual tradition in our family that Dad cooks a really good german dinner and we all go chow down.
We're having Saurbraten, potato dumplings, and sweet / sour red cabbage. So good. We used to live in Germany and I miss the food.
Oh Yeah! We are going to the Ozarks or Hot Springs next month and they have really good German restaurants up there.
Um, I'm quite the chatty one tonight, huh? I am happy, chatty, and my fingers are dyslexic today. If only you could see the typos I've fixed so far...
OK, I'm going now. But first... let's all sing Kumbaya...
~Teets feeling the autumn happies...