I asked for topic ideas...
And Dee came up with this:
How about this: If you were throw in jail and had your choice of cell-mates, which of these two would you choose and why? A) A Cross-dressing arsonist B) An anorexic gang member
After careful consideration, I'd have to say that my main objective in choosing a cell mate would be to take the one who possesses the absolute least amount of bad ass potential. Y'know, someone whose ass I could easily stomp, without messing up my hair or breaking a nail. To this end, I would choose the cross-dressing arsonist, because aside from being able to whoop that ass, I could also forge a friendship by offering tips for makeup and hair.
Gerg added a comment that went like so: oooooooooor, a cross dressing anorexic, clostraphobic, arsonist, gang member......or George Bush.
Between the two of these, I would most definitely rather have George Dubyuh for a cell mate. I can charm him with BS about Texas (I was born there) and if that failed and he became combative, I could take him.
Susanne went on tho add the following:
Heres a good gag: Go into a bank and try to set up an account, but pretend that you are deaf! Or get some honking shades and pretend that you are blind some where. It's a lot of fun because not only do you see what it's like to be without those senses, you see some hilarious reactions in the people you meet.
To this I say... I'd rather wear a ninja outfit and slither into the bank on my belly. When I get up to the teller window, I'll jump up on the counter top, and yell "Everybody freeze, and nobody gets hurt!" Then I'll slowly bring my arms up and extend them at shoulder level while simultaneously raising one leg, bringing up one knee (into the martial arts booty whooping position) while making a threatening squawking noise. Then, when everyone is crying and praying to their Gods, I'll scream "Psyche! Gotcha!! Made you look!" and just before making my escape, I'll rile everyone up one last time by screaming "Bok Choy!" as I jump from the counter top and disappear without a trace.
Where did I put my ninja outfit???