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2007-08-01 - 1:38 p.m.

So... as you may remember... one of my all time favorite bands - KoRn - is playing a concert in my town on August 18th. Nay, not just a concert... this is the family values tour. Evanescence is also on it and some other people I can't remember right now. Unfortunately, this event falls on my mom's birthday. I cannot allow my position as "Golden Child" be usurped by my evil sibling, myramains. Can't happen. I can't be the one to blow off mom's b-day. I know the evil Myra won't blow off the big b-day, because her b-day is the very next day and she wants to be there to collect up on her granny coat, should Ma be in the mood to dole one out, disguised in festive wrappings as a desirable present.

So.. to add all kinds of insult to injury, I got asked out on a date for this concert. Not by a troll, for once. I was asked to attend the Family Values Tour by a real live cute guy. Ain't that a bitch?

Granted, this is a guy I can't date for entirely political reasons... work related reasons. The craziest thing about it is ... get ready... he's NOT married!!! This is ground breaking stuff here.

Since my mother's dream for me is for me to stay single and sexless for all eternity, I can't even blow off the b-day with the excuse of trying to hook me a new man to possibly marry. Mother has decided I am not the kind of girl who needs that kind of attention. WHEW!! That's a load off my mind. I could have sworn I was flippin sick of celibacy, but NOPE!! I'm good with it, turns out.

Hot Damn.

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