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2007-02-18 - 6:41 p.m.

You guys.

You know I still love you. It's not you, it's me... I've been.. busy baby, and yeah.. I thought about you... you know I did. Don't be mad baby. I'm here Boo, this is me. Don't look at me like that Baby.. I promise to do better.. just give me this chance and I will prove my love...


I've been hopelessly embroiled in my second life. Sorry folks, that is the ugly truth. I haven't seen the sunlight in days. I'll tell you this: I have seen the light and I am going to try to get it under control a little bit. I have to. I am going to tell you a synopsis of what I have been through for your information as well as for therapeutic purposes for myself.

I started doing some PR for a club in second life. My favorite SL DJ opened this club with a friend of his and he asked me to be a part of it. He and I became more than friends and he asked me to be his hostess for all his shows. From hostess, I moved up to host manager and from there I moved up to club manager. As host manager, I was at the club almost 24/7. When I wake up, I sign on and see how many of my hosts have bailed on their shifts. I start looking for replacements and putting out fires... me and my DJ boyfriend have no time together in game, so we take it to skype and telephone... turns out, he is so much like my ex husband, it's literally frightening. I'll spare you the details of that relationship.. it was great and awful and it is still going on, but I know I should run. This relationship is dangerous for me and I know it.

So a couple of days ago, I found out that my terrible psycho boyfriend that I loved so much (remember him?) is back in the game with a new avatar! I could not possibly be more happy. He left the game last time we broke up and I missed him terribly. I so regretted doing him wrong and there was just no finding him. No closure... it was awful. I had his face in my profile, hoping he would see it and come back. And now he has.

He said he missed me too and it appears to be back on again. Stand by, I am sure there will be crazy happenings to be reported. I really needed this for a distraction because I'm rather sad about my DJ boyfriend. I don't know what to make of him. He is just too complicated for me to handle, I think. I'm thinking I may have to let it fade, but I feel too much for him to just cut it off cold turkey. I think this distraction with my ex-stalker boyfriend is just the ticket to ease me out of that.

Speaking of stalkers... my ex has been lurking around watching me a little bit. He has approached me before, but I thought he was just another face in the big crowd at my club. I was so amazed 2 nights ago when I was chatting with this club patron that I did not know from Adam's housecat and he decided to tell me he is my ex. Oh great joy...

In other stalker news: Today I was accosted in my home by an intruder who turned out to be my other stalker in a new avie!! This new avie is a female and I guessed who it was after a little Q and A session. I always kind of liked this crazy fool, because he's SO totally cocky and full of himself and sneaky and funny. Plus he is Irish and lives in Ireland. Very interesting. How very odd that my 2 most memorable stalkers would each show up within 2 days of each other, in new avatars.

I have spent my whole life lately working in the club, but I have quit the club now. The other female manager was carrying on a fling with the other owner and I was having my relationship with my half of the ownership team. We were 4 friends and we did a lot of stuff together. About a week ago, the other couple fell apart. At this point, it became "unprofessional" to have a relationship with a co-worker (bullshit alert!!)in the club and the other female manager, whom I had considered a friend, told me I had to end my relationship with my DJ guy in order to work there. So ... easy choice.. I have enough shit in my real life to deal with. I will not tolerate that kind of shit in my GAME. So I no longer work there and I am reclaiming a little bit of time for my real life.

We Libra's are all about balance, but that doesn't mean we actually have any...we are always trying to regain it. It is not that we have everything balanced... it is more about our struggle for balance. Right Dan???


I have been very unbalanced lately. I just gave over to it. I surrendered to my urge to just disappear totally into the game and I did that. I've been 90% secondlife and 10% real life. I am going to even it up a little, but I'm not going to lie and say I am going to be perfectly within an acceptable boundary. It depends on what happens.

I plan to go into the game tonight and play with my ex, hopefully. He should be on later. In the meantime... my food has arrived and I'm starved!!

I must go eat right this instant!!

Later gators!

spring - fall

6 This comments thingy doesn't work now because I let my paid membership lapse.

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