I have to share, and I have to share now. If you have just come here and you missed my entry from earlier today about "Newman", you need to click back one entry and read the pertinent info, because it adds to the grizzly business I'm about to lay on you.
Newman is also known as "The Yeti". This is the same yeti I wrote about awhile back, the one that kept telling me, in excrutiating detail, all about her sex life. She doesn't really pick up on hints, such as ear plugging, loud singing, and running from the room, screaming.
Thinking of Newman gettin' busy makes my lunch crawl up my throat without any other provocation. But Newman, you see, is married to the grossest guy EVER, and the thought of HIM gettin' busy actually sends me running for the porcelain.
Let me describe him: Dude is homely. We're talking *Deliverance* ugly. He has a fat head. He has some kind of inflamed angry red acne thing happening. His eyes are like 2 black beans pressed into a huge lump of dough. His lips pooch out, he has a gargantuous gut, no ass whatsoever, and a bad personality. You get the picture.
Here's the really unsettling news: He thinks I'm sexy (but remember, he's comparing me to freakin NEWMAN.) The first time I met him, he looked me over and lowered his voice all sexy-like and said "We've met before". It was offensively too intimate a tone to take with me. I'm standoffish on a GOOD DAY, ok?
Anywaaaaaays... pretty soon after that, Newman mentioned to me that her husband was talking about me. A lot. And that he thinks I have such a sexy voice on the phone.
She's always telling me little things that he has said about me. Today she said that her husband announced that he was going to run off with me. (As If)
She said he told her we had a secret thing going on and we're planning to run away together. This is not the first time she has relayed a thing like this to me.
He calls me by a nickname that my family calls me. It ain't Wilberteets. Apparently, Newman and her lump-o-man spend quite a bit of time talking about me at home.
I can see that I will have to lock down this entry before long, because I am paranoid about her reading the Newman stuff and figuring it out. No one at work is supposed to know about my online journal. I haven't told anyone from my workplace about Diaryland, but it's possible someone has looked at my history on the work pc or looked over my shoulder or something.
I have occasionally been tempted to trust a person or two, but I know it could potentially backfire. I might let some people in on it when I am ready to resign.
Here's a little tidbit that's sure to give you a chill, and me a nightmare: Newman has brought up the subject of a 3 way. Her husband brought it up. (surprise) She was considering saying yes. She did not ask me directly, but my reaction made it EVER SO CRYSTAL CLEAR that it would never ever, under any circumstance or crazy act of insanity, ever, in this lifetime, be me participating in such a scenario.
Oh Hell no.
I am going to go pour some bleach into my mind's eye now.
Enjoy your evening, and watch out for roaming yetis.