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2004-05-31 - 1:01 p.m.

As much as I hate to cover over yesterday's stunning pictorial display of my soon to be visited vacation spot, I have an issue to share.

My pantry is the home of the most uncooperative mouse ever to steal a cheese doodle. This wily rodent had chewed not one but two big mouse holes in there, on two different shelf levels for multi-level mouse-condo living. He had created a diarama of Iraq on the middle shelf using grits and baking soda for sand. The cans were his barracades and hidey spots. He was living large. One of us would open the pantry and he would just look at us and grunt as if to say "Do you mind?"

Well, I cleared off 2 of the shelves completely. Vacuumed up the vast desert, washed every can, threw away every box, cleaned the shelves and put a harmless looking mouse cube in there with a tasty peanut butter cracker inside it. All the little fucker has to do is walk into the cube to get the cracker. It is only after he is bloated with peanut buttery goodness that he will be struck with the realization that he can't get back out.

This would be the worst part of the episode for him. My plan is to release him, unharmed. But nooooooooo. He has avoided the mouse cube like he read the instructions or something. It's like a ghost town in my pantry now. I'm not hearing any mousey racket or seeing any new signs of his presence at all.

Can it be that he has packed his tiny rodent luggage and headed for the hills?

I guess I can put the caulking stuff into the mouse holes and put down the new shelf liner now. I just thought it was awfully rude of the mouse to not even try out the mouse cube.

That's $1.53 I'm not going to ever have back.

spring - fall

4 This comments thingy doesn't work now because I let my paid membership lapse.

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