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2003-11-05 - 10:25 a.m.

YOU JUST CAN'T HELP SOME PEOPLE.

The two parties I spoke of yesterday in my journal are provoking my sister in their diaries and email and I tried to send a truce email, which I now find returned. Since it can't go through the discreet way, I have to post it here. I'll delete the real names to protect the not so innocent.

Dear Olive Oil,

I am seeing all the sister slamming in your diary and while my support was originally with you during this situation, I'm starting to get my protective ire up about my sister. I realize you have your reasons to be angry and all, but you admitted you wrote all the bump and grind stuff to twist the knife and make her "feel the sting". And while she doesn't have to read your diary, she knows she's the favorite topic, so she looks. And I look. That's normal. We also see that Popeye's ISP is on our stats continuously, so obviously you guys are watching our diaries like a hawk as well.

While she was wrong to believe him and let herself get involved with a married man, no matter how miserable and divorcing he presented himself to be, she's not evil incarnate, and I am weary of seeing her insulted and goaded. She's not psychotic. She's not classless, and she sure as hell doesn't want the man. She wanted a fantasy man that didn't exist. Now she sees it was all pretty words and no one really wants an illusion. Except you, apparently.

She truly WAS sorry for your pain and her actions, and tried to gloss over the entire issue in her diary so she could move on and not be cat fighting in public view. That wasn't a lack of contrition so much as a desire to wipe the slate clean and get past it. She got played, just like you did. She got hurt by your husband, but not as badly as you did, because she has a very short history with Popeye.

She's angry too, and when she sees your latest installment, she might take it up a notch. I wish you would just retain some dignity and drop it. You don't have to keep airing it publicly. It isn't making you look better to keep insulting the "other woman". The sooner the world can forget there was another woman, the sooner you get released from the victim role. Or are you that comfortable in it?

By all means, hate my sister intensely for the rest of your life. It would be a big waste of your time, but it's your life. But please stop goading her in your diary. I know she has the right to "not look", but I suspect if she writes anything about bald headed poets or "fill-in-the-wife-description-here" kind of things in hers, you'd be the first outraged reader to reply. And she just might do that now that she sees you are hell bent on continuing to provoke her.

I can smooth her over if you will stop it, but I'm not going to ask her to lay down and let someone keep stepping on her face. She's capable of some withering verbal assaults herself and she has just been silent up until now. It's pointless to get into a pissing match with her, and I don't think you'd emerge victorious from that. Ever so much more classy to keep your details to yourself and stop provoking her.

I hate that this has happened, but I, you understand, I love my sister and you are trying to hurt her on purpose and I can't pretend I don't see that. So let's truce it? What do you say?

I'm not going to bother to cc this one to Popeye, but it also goes for him.

PS: I am not sorry I helped you, because had I not helped you and had this not blown up, my sister would not have seen your husband for what he really is, and she may have continued with him and gotten seriously hurt like you have and will continue to do until you finally meet the end of your ability to deny.

spring - fall

5 This comments thingy doesn't work now because I let my paid membership lapse.

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