YOU KNOW THE "PATCH" THAT IS FOUND IN THE CROTCH OF PANTYHOSE?
Yeah, that lemon shaped one.
Well, the area of the body which is covered by the patch can also be referred to as your very own "patch".
You need that background in order to fully grasp the nuances of this story.
My field of vision was assaulted by the sight of 2 strange patches whilst I relaxed at the spa.
I had been through my thermal bath, hot packs, and shower... and was relaxing in the pre-massage area with a bunch of other ladies. We were all wearing our togas and drinking our mineral water...so pleasant... so peaceful...
Straight across from my seat, there was a young lady who was reclined in a chaise lounge with her knees up. This position had pulled her sheet up in such a way that her entire patch was exposed. I don't know if she was unaware, or just didn't care who saw it, but let's just call her Winona.
'Cause I saw a big brown beaver.
Actually, her last name was Bailey. Yes, that is correct. I gave the name. She's still anonymous... no real first names... but I gave the true last name because it is significant later on in the story.
After the name "Bailey" was called and Winona got up, flashing everything God gave her, Myra and I were sort of snickering and discussing the unfortunate clam-spotting. A few minutes later, the name Bailey was called again, and when I looked across the room again, I saw an older Bailey pop up from her chaise lounge, legs akimbo, and it happened again. She flashed me with - you guessed it - another big brown beaver.
There you have it. I was visually assaulted for a second time. I had seen the rare and endangered Spotted Clam. Twice.
This experience has brought on a new catch phrase between Myra and myself. Now when someone is inadvertently flashing everyone, it is called "A Bailey". We also have instructed each other not to "go all Bailey on me".
I haven't pulled a Bailey, ever, as far as I know. But Myra has. HA! Just kidding. I think.
Last night when I went home, I was expecting to post more spa stories but I came home instead to find that my phone line and DSL were not working. I called and reported the problem, they did a line test, and said I have a problem in my line somewhere. They are fixing it today. So we should be back in business tonight.
The heater is not working either, so the AC/heating guys are supposed to fix that today. I feel like everything I have is trying to break down to punish me for going on vacation.
But guess what??? I am NOT SORRY about going on vacation, and in fact, I plan to go again SOON! So there!!
Cause I'm HOT!! TSSSSSSSSS!!