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2003-07-15 - 10:46 p.m.

I hate to post over yesterday's entry, because it was sooooo amusing to write, and people seem to like it. I hate for its day to be over. Plus, I'm feeling rushed, because I am tired and I need more than 6 minutes of sleep tonight.

But, I HAVE to post an entry, because if I don't, I'll lay in bed thinking about it instead of sleeping. I know how I are.

First, a short rant about work: The air conditioner keeps breaking down!! It's freakin HOT!!! I'm tired of sweating. I nearly went postal today because all the little irritations are magnified when I'm too hot. We admitted 7 patients yesterday and 3 today and I'm busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest.

Secondly, Let's talk about bathrooms, shall we? I work in a place where an unsuspecting worker can walk into a bathroom and find shocking and disgusting things. Ok, that can happen anywhere, but I work in a hospital, and I have gotten a couple of rude shocks there lately. My tolerance is way down, what with all the heat and the glaring lack of air conditioning.

Here is an example of a mild surprise: Today I walked into the restroom and someone had spilled an entire mug full of coffee all over the bathroom floor, around the toilet. I can just imagine someone sitting there, contemplating it all, when their cup suddenly shifts in their hand and dumps its steamy cargo all over their lap. The bathroom smelled like coffee for the rest of the day and that is an improvement over what it smells like sometimes.

Occasionally, I walk into the restroom and find a patient standing there with their pants around their ankles. That's always nice. The patients never lock the door for some reason. I've seen more than my share of naked people, and not in a good way.

Here is an example of a rude shock: The other day I was in a hurry, so I busted up into the bathroom like it was a drug raid, and got stopped in my tracks by a NASTY STENCH. I didn't take another step, but I looked in and saw a disgusting pile of molten poo in front of the toilet just gurgling and vibrating with germs. It looked kind of like melted caramel, but it did not smell anything at all like melted caramel. Melted ass maybe, but not melted caramel. I had to go report it, and all I could do was stammer "Something horrible has happened in the restroom." The crisis was soon resolved by housekeeping. Poooooor housekeeping.

A long while back, I got fed up with finding ... um.... hairs... all over the toilet seat. It became a sore spot for me, because I noticed a major pattern of continuously finding pubes all over the toilet seat. Co-worker pubes. It had gotten to be a daily happening, so one day I made a sign on my computer and I posted it in the bathroom right across from the toilet, so it could not be missed. It said:

"PARDON ME SASQUATCH, BUT IF YOU LEFT HALF YOUR PELT ON THE TOILET SEAT, PLEASE WIPE IT OFF BEFORE YOU LEAVE"

And did I really leave it there? You bet your fur I did. (sorry) Who doesn't look at the toilet seat before leaving the area?

And don't get me started on the hoverers. It's the hoverers of the world that pee all over the seat and make it unpleasant for the sitters of the world to sit. I always scrub down a public toilet seat before I use it, because I'm a sitter, and if you don't wipe it down, you'll sit right on Spurty McTinkle's leavings.

Why am I so hung up on the bathroom today?

One more thing: In the work place, have you ever noticed there is always a person who is regular as freakin clock work and they find it necessary to clean out their colon every morning at 10:00 am on the dot, or say, 2:00 pm? Same time, every day. Amazing.

These are just some bathroomy things I've noticed, and I had to purge this from my head right now so I can get some sleep. I may go now in peace.

Funny, I have to pee now.

~Teets

spring - fall

4 This comments thingy doesn't work now because I let my paid membership lapse.

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