I'M ALL FRESH FROM WATCHING REALITY TV.
It was freakin heart wrenching tonight. "Who Wants To Marry My Dad" is getting down to the wire and they had to eliminate "Cynthia" tonight, cause Dad just wasn't feeling it. I think that woman was actually falling in love with him. Genuinely! She seemed to be the most interested in him of the 3 finalists. Dad wants the one with the really big implants. The one who is probably going to leave his ass and take half his money with her.
Aaaaaaaanyhoo, I also watched "For Love Or Money 2", because I was lazy today and am still procrastinating about doing the rest of those astrology charts I said I'd do. (and I will, I promise). Watching these reality shows has given me an idea for a new one.
WHO WANTS TO MARRY A HEIFER?
PREMISE: A bunch of eligible bachelors are told they are competing for a girl and a million dollars. They do not know it's a hefty mama until showtime. They proceed to compete for dates with this big girl who is young, single, talented, and fat. It would have to be a girl with a pretty thick skin, because she has to wade through the hidden camera films to see what they are really saying about her, but in the end, she chooses whichever guy she thinks is seeing her for who she is, instead of the wrapper she's packaged in, and the guys know that if she chooses them, they win the million. Then, after several weeks of these guys saying they are falling in love and pledging their undying affection, there is a twist. They offer the last guy standing the choice to either take the money and run, or stay with the woman he has sworn up and down to be deeply in love with. The real catch is, if he chooses to take the money and run, instead of getting the money, a big door opens, Let's-Make-a-Deal-style, and there's a donkey back there. He wins the donkey, because he's just made an ass of himself. The girl gets all the money.
Should he by some chance be sincere, and choose the woman, they share the money PLUS she gets the *option* if she is interested, to have a personal trainer, a chef, etc, to help her slim down, but this is by choice only.
They are always looking for a new angle, and that is one that has not been tapped. No?
MORE SHOW IDEAS:
WHO WANTS TO MARRY A "PAT"?
Contestants compete for the hand of an androgenous person whose sex they cannot determine until the last show.
WHO WANTS TO MARRY A MORON?
Contestants are competing for someone who is gorgeous, but an idiot. The prize is a million dollars in monopoly money. The winning contestant ends up pissed, but the moron is jazzed, because that's more pink money than they've ever seen in one place before!
WHO WANTS TO MARRY AN OLD WOMAN WITH NO SENSE OF SMELL?
She has no idea that her perfume is blinding people and she also is unaware of the smell of her bridge work, but hey.... there's a million dollars up for grabs!
WHO WANTS TO MARRY A DEAD GUY?
Ok, I'm tired now.
WAIT! ONE MORE!
WHO WANTS TO MARRY A ONE EYED LEPER?