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2004-06-06 - 9:37 p.m.


What a fabulous time I just had. (note the sarcasm) You need a brief background to get the full glory of this gem, so here's the 4-1-1:

Myra and I were spawned by a woman so sanitary and organized that bleach runs through her veins and I've NEVER seen a mess in her house, though I lived there until I was 18 and visited frequently after moving out. The woman abhors filth in any capacity and vermin... well, vermin is freakin' unthinkable.

Since we are currently ridding ourselves of the pantry mouse and his mousey minions, we haven't invited mom over lately. She can't even know there is a pantry mouse. She'd FREAK.

I currently have all the contents of the pantry hauled out and temporarily placed in a big plastic storage container in the middle of the kitchen floor, breaking the cardinal sin which is "Thou shalt not leave any item out of its place, in the open where it can be ::gasp:: seeeeeeeen."

Laundry is being done today and there is a basket of clothes to be washed also sitting out in plain sight!! (scandal)

Put those factors all together and you've got yourself a filthy atrocity, according to mom.

Well guess what? Elvis Jr. spent the day with her today and when she brought him home, we weren't here so he let her in the house and she saw the contents of the pantry, right out in plain sight, the laundry in progress, and God forbid, she even saw the pantry mouse in all his glory!

I called to let her know we were coming to get the boy and she launched into a lengthy tirade about the dangers of having mice, as if we were glad about it. She acted like the kitchen was an unholy disaster and I was just falling for it and feeling like dog ass about it until I realized that the dishes are clean and the "filth" she saw was just canned and boxed grocery items taken from the pantry and laundry items that are being processed. She didn't actually see any filth, just a couple of projects that are in progress.

The mouse is what really flipped her gears. She actually saw a mouse and in her mind, only the grimiest, filthiest, nastiest house could possibly contain a mouse. Only trashy people can get a mouse.

It ain't no accident that she doesn't know that I've had mice invade my house a few times over the years. They come in, you get rid of them, and eventually they come in again. It's good to have a cat. The cat will let you know when there's a mouse in the hizzouse. When we see Possum on a stake out, we know it's time to buy sticky traps and empty out the pantry.

So that's the way it is. I endured a half hour ass chewing about the filthiness of rodent-shelterers. She went over the mouse related danger to the children... and how embarrassing it is for her to know us because we are filthy mouse harborers. She said a lot of stuff that was over the line. I had to suffer along as a captive audience, because she didn't shut up and my only alternative was to hang up on her which - believe me- ain't no option.

Oy vey.

She should have seen it earlier today when the sink was full of dishes!!! It really was a mess a little earlier today. She would have smooth passed out if there had been an actual sink full of dirty dishes when she saw it.

We are trying to *catch* the mice instead of having exterminators come out to poison them. Someone we know went the exterminator route and the mice died in the walls of his house and stunk for weeks. I'd rather catch them and get rid of them that way, without having rotting carcasses in the walls. It takes a little extra time, but seems worth it to me.

Mom saw the mouse. Not good.

Not good at all.

spring - fall

10 This comments thingy doesn't work now because I let my paid membership lapse.

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