IT'S TIME TO DIVULGE A DEEP SEATED FEAR.
Of course, it is one of my sister's deep seated fears, and not mine. But still, we're sharing here.
Girlfriend is scared of skeletons. Not as much as she used to be, of course. When we were kids, I freaked her out by telling her that she had a skeleton inside her body. It especially creeps her out to see a skeleton dancing or moving around.
I'm stopping with the skeletons after this, but I just gotta put this one up too. Cause it's kind of boogeying along in a way that will really disturb the Sistah.
SWEET DREAMS SISTAH...
Ok, that's it till Halloween. Now I'll move on to the mundane details of my work day. But try to hang in there because there is some more bathroom humor at the end.
I nearly lost my mind today, and I need to vent. Cutting out all the unnecessary details... the bottom line is, we are SWAMPED with doctors' dictation that has to be typed real fast, so I was doing the H&P's on 9 new patients today, and there was an infuriating BEEP-BEEEEEEEEP chirpy ass loud-as-Hell call bell noise that went on NON-STOP through 2 incredibly long and harrowing tapes. Wordy, overdone, unnecessarily detailed, freakin tapes. I got all irate and twitchy after hearing that sound about 4 times. Then I had to go on hearing it for another 8,997,345,001 times. I got so incredibly undone hearing this repetitive infuriating noise, that I was getting something that must be what a hot flash is like. Let me just stress right here that I'm not old enough to know what a hot flash is like. I can only speculate. But I got real hot, and not in a good way. At one point, I ran down the hall to just bitch at random. I caught the ward clerk, the DON, and the HR lady and just gave em Hell.
OH, AND LOOK OUT... MORE BATHROOM TALK.
Except, God help us, it wasn't in the bathroom this time. At lunch... That's right folks. At freakin lunch... I got my tray and carried it to the dining room... went to my favorite table in the cafeteria which is shared by employees and patients alike... and as I was sitting there, wondering why there was only 1 chair pulled up to the table... my assistant came in and kindly pointed out the puddle under the table frighteningly near to my feet. That's right, a puddle.
A. Yellow. Puddle.
Yes, I was eating my lunch right over a puddle of piss. Oblivious to the tinkle. Ignorant of the Urine. Smackin near the dribble. Ok, it wasn't dribble. It was a damn river. Somebody must have a bladder the size of Utah.
God, I hope it was a patient.