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2004-07-27 - 10:18 p.m.

The secret is out... the parental units have been informed of the situation. I told my parents today while Myra was having some blood work done. I had to deliver this news over the phone, but I think it was a good thing, so we couldn't all look at each other being terrified and sad. That tends to amplify the panic. Myra was pretty nervous about telling them and we both thought it would go over better if I did it. I am better at damage control and my medical background helped me explain things to mom and tell her insights that she may not have had otherwise.

I told them Myra is having a health scare right now, but that we had some very good news today. First the bad news: she has some little spots in her lungs which could be scar tissue, emphysema, cancer, TB, sarcoidosis, or 15 other things. The good news is that they did lots of tests on all her other body systems and there was no sign of cancer anywhere else they checked. That means even if the nodules are cancerous, there is no spreading, and it is in the earliest stage, so the worst fear can be ruled out. (Worst fear being late stage terminal illness.)

Mom freaked out a little, enough to panic my dad who was only hearing her side of the conversation. He went for the other extension and I had to tell him every detail. He's a detail guy. After the initial shock, they bore up pretty well and I am happy to report that neither of them fell out with heart palpitations or any other stress reaction. It is a giant relief that they know now and I am not guarding the secret anymore. Whew!

It is great to have the parents know. It makes me feel better for them to know. When I think my health is in trouble, I tell it. When I'm sick, I think my mama needs to know about it. Myra seems relieved too. She really thought they were going to be mad at her for scaring everyone, but that's not really how it works when it's something serious like this.

So we all went out to a restaurant and had a really good time together. A family celebration. We still have the biopsy hurdle to get over, but we are all very hopeful that it will show benign nodules. I think there's a good chance of that.

What a roller coaster!! I'm up, I'm down, I lose all hope, I have hope renewed. And it's not even my lungs with the problem! Sometimes it is easier to have a problem than to watch someone you love have it.

This was one of the worst and best days I've had in a long time.

Tomorrow is Myra's last day to smoke. Thank goodness. Thursday she will be having a semi-invasive procedure done and won't be wanting to pull hot smoke into her delicate, sliced-N-diced airways. I'm glad she's about to be done with it.

Keep all your fingers and toes and eyes crossed for us. Sure, you'll get made fun of at work, but we'd do it for you. hehe.

As always, thanks for the support, friends.

spring - fall

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