Home At Last!
Egads man. Coming home, I zigged when I should have zagged and I ended up taking an extra hour and a half getting home. I took the scenic route.
During my stay at the hotel for the past week, I saw this very cute little toad every evening when I came back to the room after working. He lives in the little storage closet on the hotel property and every night he comes out to catch bugs. I stopped and looked at him every evening. We became fast friends. He was a little shy at first, but we're tight now.
As I was loading my car and getting ready to check out, I stopped to say "Bye little frog". Well, this little storage closet is close to the corner of the building and NATURALLY, one of the housekeepers came around the corner just in time to witness me, a grown woman, talking to the little frog. My tone was all serious, like it was a person I was bidding a fond farewell. The silliness of it only occurred to me after the woman saw me.
Things like that happen to me all the time. I get caught in all kinds of embarassing moments, like talking to little frogs, staring at people, talking to myself or singing silly songs. ::sigh:: Such is life.
On my long and misbegotten journey home I had a bathroom emergency. I drank a huge coke before I started my trip and within an hour I needed a bathroom break in the worst way. I was in a scary place and didn't want to stop because of all the bars on the windows of the businesses and all the thug / criminal / axe murderer types I saw loitering at all the gas stations, so I kept going until I reached a better area. It was on the outskirts of Shreveport. Did you guys know Snoop Doggy Dog works at a gas station on the outskirts of Shreveport? Neither did I. But it's true. Fo shizzle.
I ran in and frantically asked him "Where's the bathroom?!?" Snoop dog replied "We lost the key".
LOST THE KEY?????!!!!!!!
Snoop dog shrugged, because his bladder wasn't holding 32 ounces of drinky stuff.
I took off, jumped in my car like a bank robber, peeled out, and stopped at the next place. I thought to myself that if they didn't let me use the restroom, I was going to do it in their parking lot. There comes a point when you simply have to go. There is no choice. Fortunately I found relief at the very next place, in privacy.
Shortly after that, and to my complete shock and disbelief, I had to pee again. This caused me to start thinking crazy thoughts. While in this crazy thought stage, I discovered an option I could employ on my next road trip if I were so inclined: Wear a big flairy skirt and no underwear so I can pee outside and be covered at the same time. It was a long trip. I had time to think out all the possible downfalls, such as standing up and finding a big wet spot all over my skirt/cover apparatus. I also had time to think of toilet tissue vs. baby wipes. I told you it was a long trip.
I didn't know how to find I-20 from where I was and Myra called me just in time to serve as my 5 star navigator. She led me the right way and I finally made it home. Now I must sleep the sleep of a dead thing. I have to go back to that same hospital again next week. I kind of hate that and I will probably explain why in another entry.
I'm so sleepy I'm almost delirious.