I must write an entry in protest of the shabby treatment I have received at the hands of the foul grocers in my town. Well, it's not so much an issue of bad treatment as it is an issue of bad products being peddled left and right. I do feel a bit betrayed and slighted though.
I took my happy self to the local Wally World Food Emporium recently and bought a load of groceries. One of the items I impulsively picked up was a ginormous, hulking, monster of an avocado. I paid $2.37 cash money for this fine specimen of high fat plant-life. It was lovely and almost as big as my head. Well, maybe not, but it was certainly bigger than the largest pear you ever saw.
Imagine the crushing disappointment when I sliced into the lovely aligator pear only to find black slimy dreck where the velvety green insides were supposed to be. Yuck.
Another item I bought was the all important container of half and half that I use to lighten my coffee. Notice the trend here... I like creamy things. The store was out of the regular size that I usually buy, so I had to buy the big honking container instead. The expiration date on it was October 1, my birthday, and I felt the electric crackle of kismet bristling the hairs on the back of my neck as I plucked my happy purchase off the shelf and went for the check-out line.
Imagine my utter dismay a few hours later when I saw curds the size of Cincinatti, floating in my newly lightened coffee. This half and half was spoiled!! Weeks ahead of schedule!! I planned to take the offending milk and the offending avocado back to the store with the receipt to receive back the better part of 5 bucks, but alas, Myra had thrown out my avocado before I had a chance to take it back.
Today, in the process of carrying out my usual Wednesday ritual of special coffee and Sylvia Browne... I had to make a special trip to obtain new half and half for my coffee, since the one I just bought was rotten. While I was at Mack's Wilted Produce World, I spied a tasty looking morsel that seemed just right to go with my coffee today. It was a sugar free devil's food cake. I could see it through the transparent cake cover. It looked fresh and good. I bought a can of readi-whip for the sin factor, and happily made my way back to the old homestead. I quickly put the few grocery items away and made my coffee. As the coffee pot worked it's magic, I flung the top off the cake container and discovered... green fur all over the top of the cake, just where the label was.
ONLY WHERE THE LABEL WAS!!!
The green fur was hiding under the label. This vile cake was masquerading as a fresh cake when clearly, it is an old, nasty cake.
I am going back over there. I'm creeping up on 10 bucks lost here folks. For lousy, spoiled, fur bearing grocery items! What is up with all this spoilage??
On top of everything else, Sylvia was a rerun.
Can a sister get a break?