SUCH a bad thing happened tonight in Teetsville. A bad, stinky, awful thing. Thursday is my TV night. I hole up in my room and watch the entire line up starting with Survivor, then the Donald, then ER. Let me tell you, ER was brutal tonight. I'm still a little bit traumatized from the grief of it all. While I was occupied tonight, Myra decided to get all domestic and bake cookies. Naturally, disaster ensued...
I was relaxing in my lovely room, watching a miserable episode of ER and sniffling quietly, when all of a sudden I noticed a smell that is greatly out of place in Teetsville. It's a smell that I imagine would be wafting about the set while "Fear Factor" is filming 4 super model types scarfing down rancid boiled pig assholes and fishhead stew. This was a nasty smell. I opened my door and got knocked back by the stink. It was then that I noticed the unmistakeable smell of burning plastic.
Now - usually burning plastic is a very dominant stink on the stink-food-chain, but it was totally over-powered by rancid ass. I yelled "What's that smell???" to which Myra yelled "I turned on the oven and there was a plastic container of grease inside the oven."
I said "You are supposed to check the oven before you turn it on!!!" Cause we done been over this before. Meanwhile, she's running out the door with a hot melting plastic container full of bubbling pig-yuck. The vegan lifestyle is starting to sound better....
It is well known that I store odd cooking pots and big cookie sheets inside the oven. I know ovens have a handy dandy little drawer for that sort of thing, but mine holds a broiler and some other stuff. I like to keep the gigantic cake pan, and 2 or 3 cookie sheets inside the oven. Occasionally, I stash a pizza box or the grease container in there if my mom is coming over or something. She'll pull out the white gloves and do an inspection at the drop of a hat, so the oven comes in handy for stashing the odd grease container or pizza box.
Myra has burned up a pizza box in the past and has needlessly preheated every cookie sheet I have quite a few times. Girlfriend just won't look in the oven before she preheats it.
The house still smells like rancid ass. I turned on the AC unit and sprayed lysol into the vent so it would be dispersed all over the house. We had all the doors open. A box fan is running. All these efforts apparently are serving to stir the stink, but the stinkiness doesn't seem to be going away. Candles are burning, there have been a few prayers... it's rank.
I'm going to stop cooking things that have to be drained.
I am very smell sensitive and I once had to leave work early to avoid throwing up at my desk, because the maintenance guy put some orange smelling stuff into the AC vent and it was too strong. I love the smell of oranges but I can't take even a good smell for very long if it's too strong. So this stanky mess is killing me. I'm a little queasy even as I type this.
If you could take a whiff in my house right now, you would be too.
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