I had a swell day.
Instead of traveling down here after work on Tuesday, I went home Tuesday night, took Wednesday off, and got up early today to make the 3.5 hour drive to do a consulting job. Here's how the math works out:
Easy consult + good money = Happy Wilberteets.
Today was a beautiful day visually, but it was so hot. I was in air conditioning all day, but still. HOT.
I felt really on top of my game all day today. Yesterday I was not invincible nor was I a superhero. Today however, I was Supergirl, Consultant At Large. That's right folks, I was just bubbling over with super-powers. I love it when that happens.
There is a new person working at the facility I am consulting at. She is a Beeeeeyotch. She's being very nice to me so far, but damn. She is rough on some wait staff.
Four of us went to lunch today and she behaved in a very embarrassing way. She found fault with everything our waitress did and just hassled her continuously. After being an unpleasant and demanding customer, she under-tipped the girl. The rest of us were nice and normal towards the waitress. I wanted to apologize for her behavior, but I figured the 3 of us normal people were being nice enough to adequately compensate for the one asshole at the table.
There's no telling how much crack sweat, pubes, and spit she gets to eat in her food after pissing off the wait staff at all the restaurants she goes to.
She paid her 15 dollar lunch tab with a 50 dollar bill and then left a buck for a tip. I think she was demonstrating how much money she had and highlighting the fact that the tip was small.
I observed quite a few things about her today. You can tell a lot about people by the way they behave and the things they say.
I predict turbulent times down the road with that one.
I ate at 2 nice restaurants today. I had dinner at a Thai restaurant, because I love Pad Thai. Shortly after I got my food, 3 old ladies who had apparently rolled in a dead perfume-beast, sat RIGHT NEXT TO ME, because what fun is stinking if you can't ruin someone's dinner, right?
If you wear perfume, Gentle Reader, take a whiff of yourself sometime and make sure you are 1) wearing a cologne from this century and 2) not wearing a visible slimy layer of it. Please, don't suffocate your neighbors with your overly enthusiastic perfume spritzing. Chances are, your perfume smells like bug spray to the victims suffering around you. I'm sure none of my esteemed readers would ever commit such an olfactory crime, but I admonish because I care.
Open letter to the stinky old perfume-enthusiast, sitting waaaaaay too close to me at dinner:
Dear Perfume Overdoer,
Wow. You stink. I'll bet you think you smell good because you sprayed yourself down with a coating of perfume so thick, it's visible. There are actually stink lines rising off you like a cartoon. You should be institutionalized.
I have a sick headache from your overbearing stench and my delicious Thai dinner started to taste just like that cloying smell that was dominating the air as soon as you wedged your big ass into that chair.
One more thing... you are probably around 55, but you smell 80. Toss that putrid vintage bottle of Avon. It's nauseating.