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2006-06-14 - 10:13 p.m.

Have you noticed that Burger King has really stepped up their advertising? I hate the freaky Burger King, but you gotta admit, they have been working the freaky tip pretty good. They know the King is freaky, and they're capitalizing on it.

The thing I really like is the chicken. I love the subservient chicken. I visit the chicken once in awhile to make sure he's still there. You can type in a command and he carries it out. Try it. Use the link below to go see my good buddy the subservient chicken, and tell him to make you a chicken sandwich. Tell him a bunch of random things and then ask him something inappropriate, like "do a strip tease". See what happens. If you ask him to preen for you, you'll get a nice close up of his face. Such a lovely bird.


The last few chicken commercials have been so heartwarming with soulful music and a slow motion view of the chicken riding a bucking bronco. The lyrics say "Big Buckin' Chicken... you are big and you are ...chicken".

Now there is a new commercial with the chicken riding a dirt bike and the song says "Big huckin chicken". Apparently "hucking" is a bike riding term? It's just a matter of time before they get down to "Big fuckin chicken" which is what they are trying to say without getting the FCC all upset.

I have a great idea for that. They could show a clip of some actual chickens mating and play the music to the big buckin chicken song without any words! Oooh, they could show the big chicken watching this on TV. Like it's chicken porn. If they really want to push it, they can place a bottle of lotion and a box of kleenex on the end table by the chicken's chair.

I don't know how I do it, folks.

OK, I need to write a letter to Burger King or whoever does their advertising. I'm the next Darren Stevens.

One of their newer commercials had a bunch of guys dancing down a street clutching their big buckin hamburgers while singing a song to the "I am woman" music. That was pretty good. One line in the song goes: "Yes, I'm a guy! I'll admit I've been fed quiche." It's all about how high fat hamburgers are manly man food. Doesn't say anything at all about men dropping dead of heart attacks due to their high fat diets.

Overall, Burger King is doing a good job with their advertising campaign. They are pushing the envelope.

Yes sir, I like it.

spring - fall

9 This comments thingy doesn't work now because I let my paid membership lapse.

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