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2005-04-20 - 10:59 p.m.

Sometimes a simple phrase on TV kicks off a series of stupid events in my head. Occasionally, I lose sleep working out the details.

Just now I saw a commercial for a movie and the phrase that got me started was "The most ordinary man in the world is the only one who can save it." Naturally the following thoughts occurred to me as they should be occuring to you, even now:

If all things were possible and all things knowable, who would be *the most normal* man in the world?

How could we balance the variation between different countries to come up with one universally *most* normal?

The most normal guy in some countries would seem like a freak to Americans, because we don't have that many goat herders with a bone through their nose cartilage or women with purposefully elongated necks and saucers in their earlobes. Know what I mean, Vern?

In some countries, an accountant in a suit would be the freakiest thing ever.

Did you know that Mohammad is the most common name in the world? But you know a lot more Daves, Bobs, and Jennifers, dontcha?

Sooner or later, I'm sliding down the slippery slope of universal evil... Is there a universal evil? Did you know that everything that we consider wrong is ok *someplace*? For example, in New Guinea, people used to eat their dead relatives in a ceremonial capacity, to show respect. If you were not willing to eat a hearty slice of grandma, you didn't respect her or love her. Ya Rat Bastid.

In some places, kid diddling is considered a parent's right and obligation to show the child the ways of love. For the record, the United States of America is not one of those places, so if you feel the need to diddle a kid, please do us all a favor and put a bullet between your beady eyes.

But I digress...

Do you ever think about things like who is the most normal, the most boring, how many babies are being born right this second? How many now? What hour of the day has the most births? Deaths? Who was the darkest and most evil person? Who loved them? How many orgasms just happened? How 'bout now?

Do you ever think about that human skeleton in the anatomy class? It's real. It was someone's baby once. It was held in swaddling clothes, also known as a baby blanket, and cuddled. Now it's hanging in the anatomy lab. WTF?

Will I ever go to sleep?

And when I do, how many minutes will have passed and will I snore?

Melatonin helps the brain settle down. I take it when I can't stop thinking. I can turn off the pondering of the universe most of the time, unless I am excited about something and then I'm in planning mode and there's no shutting that off without help.

But I am perfectly normal. Not the *MOST* normal though. Just moderately normal to borderline odd. Somewhere in that range...

spring - fall

17 This comments thingy doesn't work now because I let my paid membership lapse.

Words to Live By - 2015-03-04

Sunshiney - 2015-02-10

New and Improved - 2015-01-30

The Deep - 2014-12-30

In Love - 2014-12-29


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