There is something foul afoot at Casa de Teets. Myra and I are embroiled in a battle that goes back to our very childhoods.
We used to play a game called "Video husbands". We would watch videos on MTV with the understanding that when it was our turn to take a video husband, we had to take the very next male to show up on a video. You could end up with your honeyman (like Steven Tyler for me or Shaun Cassidy (!!!) for her) OR... you could be jackslapped by having to take someone like Al Jarreau, whom I find delightful, but Myra finds horribly hokey. We didn't want to see Air Supply, Wang Chung (God Forbid) or Flock of Seagulls, among others. That was pure shame. The best possible scenario for me was if Al Jarreau came up on her turn and I got Steven Tyler. Then I could really point, laugh, and gloat.
Well, Myra has made sport of changing my wallpaper on my desk top pc at home while I'm away. First, there was a HIDEOUS old guy making a face. It was one of those joke pictures you see every now and then. It's probably on Fugly.com... Well, I think I screamed when I turned on my monitor and saw that. It was jarring to see that much ugly without having a chance to prepare.
Then, she plastered another ugly picture which I shall not elaborate on, in case that actual person saw this entry. It's none of my D-Land friends, for you are all beautiful works of God-art. But it is someone we know who is so very un-photogenic that it leaves a gal speechless. She doctored up the picture a little and added the caption "YOU WANT THIS".
So, naturally, it was on.
I went to her pc and searched up a bunch of pictures of Al Jarreau for Myra's viewing pleasure. I found one that just embodies what she doesn't like about Al, which is his very very demonstrative, pose-with-your-mouth-wide-open thing he does. I knew it would make the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and gag. I made that picture her wallpaper and I made a caption for it that said:
"I am Myra's very own love-muffin. She just loves to hear me scat... and she likes my singing too. Teehee."
And I set her homepage to Al's official web page. MUAhahahaha! I searched for a looping song that would play endlessly until she found it, but I didn't have time to set that up properly.
Myra was horrified, of course. I laughed and laughed. And then later, I went someplace...
While I was gone, she befouled my pc and eventually, my mind's eye. She pulled up something disgusting from so far back that I had successfully purged it from my memory bank. I forgot how absolutely sickened I was by the sight or sound of the homeliest cajun ever, Doug Kershaw. I hope Doug and Al don't google their names to see what people are saying about them, cause I wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but DAMN, Doug Kershaw can be gross. He had this impish, hokey, overly enthusiastic way about him that just turned my stomach when I was a kid.
She wasn't content to just leave a blast of ugly on my computer... She had to doctor it up in the "paint" program. She put a really ugly, open mouthed grimacing Doug face on a mostly naked, male model body. It's so messed up. I just sit there and stare at it. I lose track of reality a little bit sort of like a deer, stunned in the ray of ugliness.